Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
