The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
