Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
