Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
