dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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