So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
