Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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