whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
