all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
