Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
