i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
