well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
