lets start a swedish sibling band together
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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