dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
