Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
