There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
