I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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