is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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