Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
