omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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