So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
