What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
