come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
