I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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