you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
