Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
