Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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