it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
