At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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