i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
