i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Buhtt sex?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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