I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
