it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
