I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
