So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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