This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
