sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
