I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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