haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
