It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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