Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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