Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Randomize
