Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
