just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
