he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
