you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
