so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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