it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
