like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
