I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
