dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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