we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just gift wrapped bread.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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