Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
